Sunday, 1 September 2013

How to Break Up With Your Partner

IT'S been a hellish time for celebrity marriages. First Catherine Zeta Jones and Michael Douglas announce their 13 year union has hit the skids and “they're 'taking time apart to work on it,” then Clint Eastwood revealed his 17 year marriage to his wife Diane is over as he apparently no longer loves her.

If your relationship has entered the point of no return and you want to break up with your partner then there are several things you should think about before doing it.

Don't ever break up with someone over the phone, by texting, or by email unless they are violent then break up with them any way you can. If they aren't violent then break up with them in person. Don't humiliate them by breaking up in public, find a private place to let them down gently. Your partner may not like what you are doing but they will have more respect for you.

You also have to choose the right time to tell them things are over. Please avoid special occasions like birthday's, Christmas and anniversaries. It's not fair to do it on a date that your ex will remember every year. It's just cruel.

Being honest with your soon to be ex is very important, but if you have met a new someone special, keep it under wraps. If they ask, Don't tell them. They will be hurt enough as it is and they don't need that pilled on top of everything else. There really is no point in hurting them further.

You should plan out what you want to say before meeting your soon to be ex because you will feel nervous when the breaking up starts. Stand firm and don't waver. When the time comes to actually doing the breakup look them in the eye and tell it to them straight. They will be hurt anyway so state your case with confidence. The relationship may be at an end but do not humiliate yourself or your ex by treating this as a trivial matter.

Whatever you do it's important to keep your emotions in check. Don't seem to happy you have broken up with your other half. Have a bit of respect and realise they are feeling like their world has ended.

Try and not react to their feeling of rejection. They may shout and scream at you but that doesn't mean you have to lower yourself to that kind of behaviour. If the yelling and tantrums get too much then make a beeline for the door. Be honest and sensitive and remain civil. You just have to remember rejection is tough and how would you feel if you were in their shoes?

After you break up your ex may try to contact you. This is normal because they are hurt but do not take their calls. If you do take their calls it will just keep their hope alive that you may reconsider things. This is an unkind thing to do. Never make promises you do not intend to keep. Change your habits, too. Find a new coffee shop to get your morning coffee and a new place to eat your lunch. You do not want any accidental run-ins with your ex. It's just too awkward for you and too painful for them.

If someone new wasn't the reason for the break up, you should hold off on dating for a while. Rebound relationships never really work. They may feel good for a while but what you need right now is to learn how to be on your own.

Look at this time after your break up as an opportunity instead of a setback. Now you have time to focus on yourself. Do something that makes you happy and work toward a goal. How to deal with a break up is a very individual thing, so be a little selfish for a change and work toward something you really want.