Sunday, 6 October 2013

10 Tips to Relieving Stress When Moving In Together

It's the best feeling in the world when your boyfriend asks you to move in with him. It's a huge step and while it's amazing living with someone you love it can also be incredibly stressful as this is the time in your relationship where you will begin to argue. Trust me it happens to us all. So here are ten tips to help ensure you have a smooth transition into your new home and your new way of life:
Decide where you want to live:

Sometimes moving into your partners' home can be awkward especially if he has lived with an ex at that same address. If you are cool with that then fine but if not then you have to raise that subject. Maybe you just don't like your partners' place and you think yours' is better, in that case suggest you move in together at your gaff. But for some couples the best thing to do is find a home that is new to you both which has no ghosts running around from previous relationships.
Sort out the clutter:

When you get to a certain age you will have collected quite a lot of belongings- much of which you probably won't really need. When moving in with someone then this is the ideal time to sort yourself out and get rid of all the clutter in your life. It will be the same for your partner too. So set aside a day where you both work out what to throw out and what you would like to keep.
Don't leave the paperwork to one person:
When you buy or rent a home then there is a lot of grown up paperwork to deal with which can be quite stressful. Make sure that you take your fair share of responsibility and don't just leave it to your partner to deal with. If you share the paperwork then you are halving the stress but it also means that you will both be clued up as to what it going on regarding your new home.
Share the household chores:

One of the big reasons couples argue is down to housework and daily tasks surrounding the house. It takes a lot of energy to run a home as well as maintain a relationship while holding down a career and having a social life. The best way to cope is by agreeing with each other who should do what chores. For instance I hate hoovering but my other half doesn't mind while I don't mind dusting- he hates dusting, so we agree we each do those chores. If you want you can draw up a rota to keep you right. Remember boys cooking and cleaning aren't just for women nowadays.
Give each other space:

When you first start living together you will want to spend every waking moment together but over time you have to realise that it's important to give each other some space so you and your partner can have some 'me time'. Getting time out on your own is hugely important as it clears your head and you don't feel smothered. It's important to be able to relax on your own whether that is read a book, go for a long bath or listen to some music. Everyone needs 'me time' so don't be afraid to ask your partner if you want to do something on your own for a couple of hours in the house.
Always have date night:

When you live with someone for a wee while and the honeymoon period rubs off then it's very important to schedule at least one proper date night a week. This means the pair of you only spends time with each other and ignore those smart-phones. Just forget the housework, your pain in the ass boss and the bills you need to pay and instead devote much needed couple time together. You could watch a DVD, cook dinner together or get naked and dance in your living-room- anything to keep the fun in your relationship.
Talk money:

It's rubbish having to be sensible with your partner and talk about money. It's not very sexy or fun but it has to be done. If you are moving in with your partner then is it something you can't avoid. Make sure you are both aware of what money is due every month for rent and bills. If you have a joint account make sure you both transfer money into it each month. If you want to save for a rainy day then make sure you are both on the same page and contribute to your 'fun fund'. If you borrow money from your partner then make sure you arrange a way to pay them back.
Accept each other's habits:

When you move in with someone you see them for who they really are- good and bad habits. When you share a bedroom, kitchen and bathroom with someone then you have to be prepared to accept they may do things a little differently from you. No one is perfect just remember that. If some of their habits are annoying you then bring them up in a polite rather than insulting or embarrassing them.
You have to be flexible:
Let's face it when it comes to home decoration men and women are sometimes poles apart. That means it is important to compromise with each other rather than fight it out in the soft furnishings section of a department store. You have to try and meet in the middle when it comes to choosing wallpaper and furniture. Remember it's not just your home it's a place for the both of you to enjoy.
Be honest with each other:
It can be a nerve-wrecking time moving in with the love of your life as it all of a sudden fells grown up. It's a commitment after all. So if you are feeling uneasy about something or you are worried about how your relationship will adapt then please talk to each other. They will probably have similar concerns you have anyway.
Moving in with the love of your life will have its ups and downs but I guarantee you that coming home to the person you want to spend the rest of your life with it just the most incredible feeling.
Every night feels like a Friday night for me and I hope it does for you too.